Self Care for Leaders – When your tank is empty!
The Pressures and Loneliness
I’m gonna be real with you guys for a minute. I’ve experienced some of my loneliest moments as an entrepreneur and leader during COVID.
For the most part, I stuck to my healthy habits and routines and, despite those efforts, I found myself in super dark moments where I felt very alone. I felt like I was drowning and treading water at a pace I wasn’t sure I could manage. A few months ago, I spent several weeks in a row just focusing on getting through the day, so it brought me one step closer to the weekend. It was like I was having an out of body experience and then Friday came! I felt like I could release the breath I was holding in and find refuge in the distractions of weekend activity.
As leaders, we have a tremendous amount of weight on our shoulders. You’re dealing with financial pressures, keeping up with the latest safety regulations. Your concerned about your team’s well-being and mental health. You’re losing confidence as your war chest of savings is dwindling as the months keep passing and COVID continues to grip the world and freeze client spending.
For leaders who are used to feeling a sense of control of their world and outcomes, this can leave us feeling like we’re spinning out of control! While you may have an awesome leadership team rallying behind you, there are still pressures and burdens that only you bear as the owner and leader of your company. This can leave us feeling very lonely, like no one can relate.
Recognize the Warning Signs
I know that for me when fear is there, my ego takes over and she isn’t pretty! My behaviour shows up in curt and quick conversations so I can get back to the task at hand. It reveals itself through impatience when conversations aren’t productive or supporting the bottom-line. Sarcasm can creep its nasty head into my conversations and fully loaded judgments can take over my thoughts. This is a telltale warning sign that my tank is empty!
When my energy is zapped because my thoughts are on the long-term implications of the pandemic’s effects and I cannot concentrate, I know it’s time for a break. When creativity and mindfulness cease to exist as I work on high level tasks, that’s a warning sign. When I want to place blame and my “bounce-back factor” is impacted and I’m stuck in negative thought loops, it’s time to recharge!
Leaders, we are not superhuman! We feel that way at times when we’re fired up about life and when business is thriving. We think we can manage it all and become too self-reliant for our own good. It’s time to breathe and recharge!
When you have nothing left to give
Once you recognize that you have nothing left to give, there is absolutely zero point in pushing through. You may feel “strong” for persevering but when you evaluate what you’re getting done, chances are you’re not being effective. I’ve done this on several occasions. I’ve pushed through to prove that I can handle anything and as a result my work is mediocre at best. We glamorize hard work as a society and, while I am a firm believer in a strong work ethic, when we become ineffective, it’s time to break!
Let your team know that you’re taking a couple of days off and that you trust them to manage any issues that may arise. Ask them to hold space for you and honour that you will not have access to phone or email unless it’s an emergency – it never is!
Seek solitude from other leaders and entrepreneurs who can relate to your struggles. If you don’t belong to a peer advisory group, I highly recommend that you check out TEC Canada. This is a safe space to bounce ideas off of like-minded individuals and get support and advice when you’re feeling like you’re at the end of your rope!
Do things that fire you up! For me, I can get reenergized quickly when I watch videos about people who have faced seemingly insurmountable odds and came out on top! Similarly, reading about inspirational leaders or entrepreneurs like Richard Branson or listening to my new favourite Steve Harvey will get you motivated to press on!
Above all, remember that you’ve had your back against the wall before! You figured it out then and you’ll figure all of this out now. Not only that, but this will be one chapter of your awesome success story as you come back swinging!
As always, we value your input! Please share your thoughts and ideas around leader self-care!
