4 Ways Curiosity Can Build Connection

I had a coach who would often probe for greater detail by asking “I’m curious Nikki….” followed by “why do you feel that way”, or “what else could it be” questions. He taught me an incredibly valuable lesson and that is the power of being curious!

Being curious is a strong desire to know or learn something. How true! When we are closed-minded or have already made assumptions, we are not open to learning a new perspective or hearing others’ views. By contrast, when we are genuinely curious we open the door for greater connectivity.

1. We Breakdown Walls

Genuinely seeking to understand another’s perspective and gently asking a curious question gets others to open up about their viewpoint. The important part is actually being curious and non-judgemental in your approach. You can see that “I’m curious why…” could sound judgemental if it is not delivered with a sincere desire to be open to another’s perspective. The magic happens when you really are curious and excited to hear how the other person came to their conclusion. Too often, especially in the polarized world we live in now, we are totally closed off to others’ opinions. I have a great friend who, by definition, is the complete opposite of me politically. It’s interesting though because we’ve had incredibly respectful conversations around politics with openness and curiosity and have found that we’re actually not that far off from one another’s position. Curiosity breaks down barriers and deepens trust.

2. We Invite Creative Thinking

We don’t ask each other or ourselves enough thought-provoking questions! Creative and innovative thinking comes from a discipline of asking better questions!

At Sigma Promotions, we have a practice of asking thought-provoking questions each week. We hold our Think Tank Tuesday sessions which often include questions that we would never typically ask ourselves. We ponder and discuss our answers to increase creative thinking as well as create a safe space for opinions and wild ideas! In addition to Think Tank Tuesdays, we also have quarterly reflections as well as annual reflections which include prompts for each team member to really stretch their thinking. 

 

3. We Learn SO Much

I was recently training with some other coaches and one of my peers said, “We learn so much in the silence, don’t we.” I wrote that down and it has stuck with me ever since! We’re not learning when we’re speaking. When we ask questions it’s important to then sit back, wait and listen with a fully engaged presence. That truly is a gift we can give others and we can learn so much! How much richer would your relationship be with each team member if you knew the answer to the following questions:

• What has been your greatest accomplishment this year?
• What has been your proudest career moment?
• Who inspires you to make a difference?
• If money were no object, how would you live your life?
• How can I better support your goals and dreams?

If you’ve never included some of these types of questions in your one-on-one time with your team members, they will have transformative results! Why? Because curiosity builds deeper connections!

4. We Build Deeper Connections

People are desperate to feel what I have coined “The EVA Principle”. That is, people regardless of age, gender or position are desperate to feel Engaged, Valued and Appreciated! We live in a busy, distracted and impersonal world. If you can be the one person who asks questions of your team, family and friends, people will gravitate towards you. Clients will love spending time with you because you stand out simply by being curious. Too often, we worry about what we will say or sound like when we converse with others. Instead, come from a place of pure curiosity, listen intently, and put others in the spotlight to form greater connections.

Take time to ask yourself deeper questions!

Taking the time to ask yourself deeper questions will be life changing! If you’ve never done so, perhaps spend time alone asking the questions I’ve listed above. Too often we go through life hurried and we don’t take time to reflect on successes or think proactively about a better future!

How will you show up curious today? Who has been a mentor or coach in your life who has mastered this skill? What types of questions did they ask you? As always, we welcome your feedback and would love to hear from you!